I feel like not much has changed
since I wrote my last post. I am still working on my same projects and
attempting to get a hang of this whole teaching thing, cooking and
experimenting with different ingredients and budgets, and practicing my
language! Something tells me I will continue to do all of this until I close
service. Hard to believe I have now been in country for 8 months!
One of the biggest and best things
that has happened to me since my last post is that I officially moved! I am now
a member of the Makena family. All I can say is this was most definitely the
right decision and I am SO much happier!! Before I felt so isolated and
although I had good neighbors, I spent majority of my time holed up in my room,
which only made my homesickness worse. Now, an average day for me looks so much
different. I wake up around 5:30 or 6 in the morning to the sound of my
siblings singing, playing, or cleaning, and as I drink my coffee they greet me,
ask me how I slept, or just giggle which absolutely warms my heart. I am always
in and out of the house because my schedule varies so much, but when I do come
home my gogo (or grandma) is always there, either napping, chatting with
neighbors, cleaning, or relaxing so we talk a little bit (she only speaks Sepedi
so its lots of laughing and nodding), and then once the kids come home I drink
tea and play with them or help them with homework, do my thing and end the
night by watching tv with them in their house when I feel like it. Being
surrounded by such a sweet group of people, and naturally falling into helping
them makes me feel wanted, supported, and useful and I could not be happier
that I made this decision.
I have
decided to postpone my dance project’s start date until January. Schools here
are year round, so this term, 4, is the last of the year. Since it is right
before the December holidays, attendance is usually lower, and I figured that
it would be best to take my time, prepare the facilitators and supplies, and
start in January with a well-done platform and group of learners. It is very
frustrating for me to start late (I will be starting my first secondary project
when I have been in country for a year) but I need to remind myself that
moments like this are the reason Peace Corps is 27 months, not 6 months. As an
American and a type A personality, it is SO hard for me to not have running
projects a year in. One of the most difficult aspects of Peace Corps for me is
taking deep breaths, realizing everything takes time, and that so much of the
impacts I make I will never see or know about. An anxiety I experience daily
and a question that is always on my mind is, “am I really helping anyone?”. Its
so hard to reassure myself but I am so excited to put the finishing touches on
this first project, and I can only hope the participants will enjoy it as well.
I am continuing to teach Life Skills at 3 local schools, and am considering
switching to English at the beginning of term 1 in January. I feel like my
skills might be of better use teaching my home language and that I might be
more understood, but I am giving Life Skills one more term and we will see how
that goes. Another project on my mind is an after-school homework help program,
but that’s just brewing in my mind at the moment, so we will see. There are so
many things I WANT to do, but to do them well, I have to pick and choose and
that is really really hard!
I am a
member of the Volunteer Support Network (a peer to peer support group for
volunteers), and was recently elected as Deputy Chair or vice president! I am
really excited to be serving on a committee that helps other volunteers, and
was so surprised and touched to be elected! I oversee a lot of the budget and
subcommittees (LGBT, Sexual Harassment, etc. ) and besides this position we
have been traveling around training the new cohort that just arrived in July.
It is so nice not to be the new kid anymore! All of the other members are
awesome and its so nice to get to know people from different parts of South
Africa who are all at different moments in their service! Anyway, just
something new and fun to be a part of J.
I
really don’t have much else to report! I am going on my FIRST vacation since
arriving next week, a hike through the wild coast and I cannot WAIT!!! Pictures
and details to follow.
Lastly,
I wrote an article for the newsletter on Culture Vs. Poverty so I figured I
would attach it below. Feel free to read! I love you all, sorry for a kind of
boring post but I hope you enjoyed it a little!
Pictures include my host sister Bokamoso’s birthday, and
random ones playing with the kids. Enjoy!
All my love,
H
Culture Vs. Poverty:
Which One is Pushing Our Buttons?
Being
alone at site, we all have a lot of time to think. We imagine home, the
comforts and people we miss, what it will be like to go back, and we also
compare those memories with the realities we face here in South Africa. Most of
our day to day life as volunteers is anything but easy. We are constantly
learning new aspects of the cultures where we live, about our capabilities as
people, and our willingness to accept or reject pieces of our interactions and
struggles that test us to no end.
Often
times when upset we naturally focus on the pieces of South African culture that
are different from our own, things we do not understand, which cause obstacles
that sometimes seem impossible to overcome. At least in my own head, it is very
easy for me to grow angry with what I see as “South African Culture.” While
there are pieces of my background and that of host country nationals that do
differ, creating a clash that often makes me angry, sad, frustrated, etc., I
feel that a lot of it has nothing to do with culture, but rather with poverty
and socioeconomic status.
Let’s
examine attendance for example. One of my biggest frustrations with starting an
afterschool dance program is that I just cannot get people to show up unless I
provide food, and even then it is a struggle. All I could focus on for the
longest time was how angry I was that I was spending my time and energy to
offer locals a free, fun, recreational activity, and they couldn’t even leave
their homes for thirty minutes just to try it. I know many other volunteers as
well as organizations locally have similar issues. If we take a step back and
look further into the issue rather than assuming the emotions and motives of
local youth, there could be a ton at play. They could have chores, their
parents could be neglecting them and their siblings so they have to care for
their families, they could have work, or most important to me, they could be
scared or embarrassed to try something new when no one in their life has ever
encouraged them to do so. So maybe just maybe youth are not skipping out on my
functions or being flakey because they’re South Africans and its their
“culture,” but because they are at a poverty level where every minor move
someone in their family makes, whether it be a change in schedule, lack of
funds, or abusive comment, immensely affects the way they view themselves,
their time, and their goals. Obviously it cannot be applied to every challenge,
and it is natural to feel helpless at times when you just can’t understand how
people and politics can be so different from a place you know and call home,
but there is something to be said for taking a step back.
Spinning my point of view and
making room in my head and my heart for these possibilities makes my day go by
just a bit faster, opens my eyes to ways
I can be of service during my time here, and leads me to a deeper understanding
of a place and a population so different from anything I have ever known. It is
times like this where it is our chance to learn. I am not saying it is all black
and white, one or the other. I hardly know the answers to why the challenges I
face seem to keep happening and probably will never find out even one month
before I close service. I just encourage you to live with an open mind and open
heart to the possibility that something bigger is at play than personal
preference, cultural difference, or lack of interest. It takes a lot to swallow
your pride, refrain from taking things personally, and putt less pressure on
yourself to solve the world’s problems, especially as Americans, but we can do
it.
When we swore in we promised to
communicate a positive and accurate image of South Africa to citizens in our
home country. I believe this is one of the ways our eyes are opened and we have
the chance to go two directions. We can lash out, write off a culture we know
so little about, and move on to continue meeting these speed bumps in our
service with anger and resentment, or we can ride the wave, accept that life is
hard (not always hard though), and take a deeper look at what really is at play
in those moments of clash we face all the time. Maybe our open hearts and minds
will lead us to success, and if not, at least to a better understanding of
those around us which is what life is all about.
